Sunday, September 6, 2009

Application Letter

Room 422, Block B, Ng Wai Chii Handphone no.: 65-98174180
Ridge View Residences,
25 Lower Kent Ridge,
Singapore 119081.
nwchii@hotmail.com



Agency for Science, Technology & Research (A*STAR)
1 Fusionopolis Way,
#20-10 Connexis,
Singapore 138632
Att: HR Department (Corporate Internship Programme)





To whom it may concern,

If your company is seeking for an inquisitive, flexible and all-rounder intern, I would appreciate it if you would consider me. The experiences that I had gathered so far are highlighted in the accompanying resume.

During the duration of my course, I had been diversifying the courses that I took. My inquisitive nature pushed me to take courses which are not in my major’s domain, including marketing and computing. These courses gave me more chances to hone my presentation skills.

I had also joined as a junior marketing committee for archery club. During my stint, I had secured goodie bags for the club’s biggest event, the NUS Indoor Archery Competition.

I believed that my personality and experiences I possess would be of an added strength to the company. I can be contacted at the number and email listed above and am looking forward to hear from you soon.


Yours sincerely,



NG WAI CHII
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6 comments:

  1. MasamuneSeptember 6, 2009 at 1:13 AM

    Hi Wai Chii, I'm actually quite disappointed with this blog post. Your application letter may be short and sweet, but it seems to be a generic one that can be used for any company. I guess you have to research more on the company and reflect on whether the company and job are right for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CloverSeptember 6, 2009 at 3:08 AM

    Dear nwchii,

    I am wondering why do you have such large amount of spaces in between in your letter?

    Also, I agree with Masamune that your letter is short and sweet. However, perhaps you can try to elaborate more to appeal to the company about yourself as the presentation done by Xiniyi mentioned that we should try to sell ourselves as much as possible. At the same time, I must emphasize that we must try to be humble as well.

    After all, it is not easy to shine in contrast to a stack of letters on the employer's table.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pei ShanSeptember 7, 2009 at 12:05 AM

    Hi Wai Chii,

    In the 1st paragraph, you should talk about the organization instead of yourself. In the 3rd paragraph, you should mention what exactly you can do for them. Your 2nd and 4th paragraphs are generally correct.

    This is the skeletal structure of the body for a successful cover letter that I saw in a book:
    1st paragraph: Power opening – talk about the organization, not you
    2nd paragraph: Purpose of this correspondence and brief background
    3rd paragraph: Punch the “hot buttons” – what precisely can you do for them
    4th paragraph: Closing and call action (initiate your next move)

    P.S. There are many books on examples of resumes and cover letters tailored to every job in Hon Sui Sen Memorial Library, which you would like to use it as a reference. Hope this information helps.

    ReplyDelete
  4. tchonSeptember 7, 2009 at 8:07 AM

    Hi Wai Chii,

    I think you have to write more about yourself to let the future employer knows who you really are.

    Also, for the 2nd paragraph, I think you should try to elaborate more about the modules you have taken outside your faculty.

    For the 3rd paragraph, i think you have to describe how you managed to secure the goodie bags, so as to let the reader recognise your skills.
    That's all from me
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  5. nwchiiSeptember 9, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    Hi everyone,

    I owe everyone a great apology for this, I myself felt, a dismay application letter and blog post. I had not been giving this letter the ample time and undivided attention I usually give for my writings.

    I was confused as to what I need to write for this. Fact writing had never clicked comfortably with me. Furthermore, I had been holding myself back as talking good about myself never seemed to be a natural habit of mine. It is even worst by writing it down.

    The next draft would be much better than this.


    Greatest apologies,

    Wai Chii

    ReplyDelete
  6. receiverSeptember 9, 2009 at 5:35 PM

    Your company is seeking an inquisitive----intern. No 'for.'

    Whilst at NUS (not during the duration of my course). NUS is prestigious so make sure the reader notices you are an undergrad. here.

    Tenses- should be present perfect not past perfect eg I have diversified.

    But why are you laying stress on presentation? Is it a research or business type job?

    The Archery Club paragraph sounds a bit weak. The goodie bags shows enterprise so link it to the company's requirements. Always keep in sight what they require from you.

    Your grammar needs attention- review past tenses.

    This letter is pleasingly short but that means it requires your finest skills to pack in a strong case for yourself in a few words.

    Mrs Richardson

    ReplyDelete

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